Granted, most of the questions
that folks ask me are civil and intelligent, . . .
and sometimes they're not.
I'll try to address the intelligent questions here:
Have you had any formal training?
This question always
flatters me, but I must always answer "no".
Besides, I might ruin
my tuxedo that way.
Do you offer mask-making apprenticeships or
workshops?
Not at this time --
but I can recommend an excellent book on the subject:
The
Prop Builder's Mask-Making Handbook, by Thurston James,
Betterway
Books, ISBN 1-55870-166-4. Check with Amazon.Com.
Will you send me a mask sample?
No. There are
no such things as 'mask samples'.
Will you sell me an unpainted mask so I can
paint it myself?
No. I don't sell
or release unfinished masks.
Can I buy a mask on Lay-A-Way?
Nope. I've gotten
burned on this, so I swore to myself 'never again'.
My payment is in the mail but I don't feel
like waiting, so can you send me the mask before the payment arrives, anyway?
No. Nuh-uh.
No Way. I've been burned on this one, too. Next year file early!
Will you sell me masks at wholesale prices?
No. There is only
one pair of hands doing everything -- mine. Please remember
that these masks are
art.
Do you rent masks?
No. In compliance
with local and state health laws, I cannot accept any returns on
masks or headdresses.
Do you make wrestling masks?
No -- my masks may be
wild and uninhibited, but they are not violent, . . . much.
Can I come visit your studio?
Sorry, but not at this
time. My studio is in my home, and my home is not open to the
public (not to mention
the fact that my insurance agent would have a fit).
Why haven't you answered my e-mail?
Could be any of a number
of reasons --
(1) The return e-mail address you provided was invalid, so my response
bounced because of 'fatal errors'.
(please try again)
(2) The address you initially e-mailed to was incorrect -- in other
words,
your e-mail never reached me.
(please try again)
(3) My system might have crashed, sending all messages into oblivion.
(please try again)
(4) I might be under a very heavy work load and haven't had the chance,
or I might be rebuilding after a tornado (this is for real -- we were hit
by a tornado in April of 1998 -- egadz).
(patience, please)
(5) I might be taking a vacation/holiday.
(patience, please)
(6) Your communique was impertinent and/or rude.
(harumph)
(7) Your server may have automagically dumped my response -- those
evil, rotten, nasty spammers have highjacked my e-mail addy, causing
it to be socially infected with e-mail cooties, until said servers perform
a 'cleansing' of some sort.
(grrrrrrrr)
